You're completely useless in the revolution.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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