oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
This gyro tastes like lonliness
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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