? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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