just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
