How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
