i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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