i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
