Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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