I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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