also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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