Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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