i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
