allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
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The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
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Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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