Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize