at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
