bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
