Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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