So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
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like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
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This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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