I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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