ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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