I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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