is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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