whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
