you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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