I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
only if we run a train.
done.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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