Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How external is "for external use only"?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
