Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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