ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
