I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize