You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
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Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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