Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
