Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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