Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
