I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
