I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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