I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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