But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I could make wine with my vomit
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
