Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
