That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
