I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
