a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize