Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize