Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
