You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize