just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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