whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
