brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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