I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
