I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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