she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
