Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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