He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
