she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
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the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
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I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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