Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
