So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
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until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
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You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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