Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
