I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
