you're like a bully in the Christmas story
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
