We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
