I wish they made helmets for livers.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
