hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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