i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
